


The Silver Lining

by KippieHValentine



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anger, Angst, Bully Eren, Bullying, Emotional Hurt, Even I hate Eren right now, Fighting, Football, Football player Eren, Football player Franz, Fury, Hurt No Comfort, I'm sorry Armin, Love?, M/M, Rage, Sorry Not Sorry, Sweet Marco, Tension, This is my fault, Vice Principal Keith Shadis, Wimpy Armin, hinted jeanmarco, hopefully an eventual happy ending, will tag more as characters enter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-20 04:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3636951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KippieHValentine/pseuds/KippieHValentine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Darkness. Cold...Murky...Lonely darkness. That was all he could see. All he could feel. The pain was gone now, at least. The ringing too...At least there was a silver lining to passing out...</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It wasn't really supposed to go this way. Armin had meant for things to be different. But he always seemed to mess them up. And now he's getting exactly what he was trying to avoid. But, the words that will be said will linger with him forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beating

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This contains the word/insult "faggot" and a lot of the use of the word "fuck". If this offends you please turn back now and do not read this fanfic.

Armin leaned into his locker, grabbing a book from the far corner. Two hands shoved him into it and he groaned in pain and frustration. He pulled himself out, looking at the culprit. “S'up, faggot.” A familiar voice hissed. His shirt was grasped by two strong, tanned hands. He stared at them for a moment before looking at the face of the boy they belonged to. Eren Jäger. Armin cringed as his back was shoved into the metal surface behind him.

“The fuck, man? Just leave him alone.” Another familiar voice rose. The blonde stole a glance at his friend, Jean Kirschtein. The brown haired man slammed his locker shut, stepping closer to where Eren and Armin were. Eren merely gave a smirk before shoving Armin back once more and turning to leave.

“Jean, it's fine.” Armin breathed. “No need to get in trouble for my sake.”

“Fuck, man. Stand up for yourself.” The taller man grumbled as they began to walk down the hall. “I mean, what are you going to do if I'm not around or I'm not even at school?” 

“Really, Jean, I'm fine.” The blonde laughed softly. “Don't worry.”

“Don't worry?” Jean shook his head. “Come on, man...what's wrong with you? You let yourself get beat up by that guy every fucking day.” 

“I know...”

“So what the fuck?” 

“Jean, don't worry about me.” Armin smiled. The distances between Jean's classroom and the two boys was getting shorter and, despite Armin's fear of being left alone, he spoke to his friend in a hushed tone. “Get to class, you're gonna be late.” 

“Yeah, yeah...” Jean stopped in front of an open door, looking at the blonde as he did so. “Hey...be careful.”

“I'm going straight to class, Jean. Don't worry.” He reassured his friend. “See you after?” 

“Yeah. I'll meet you next to the Physics room.” The taller man entered his class and, without the comforting thought of him being protected, Armin began to walk to his own. He was unlucky enough to have a class on the entire other side of the school. As he walked he noticed that the halls were almost empty now and the bell had already rung. 

“Shit...” Well, he couldn't deny that he'd tried his best to make it there, at least. He glanced around a few times, making sure none of the teachers were watching, before he ducked into the nearest bathroom. He took a few breaths and slowly made his way to the sink. If anyone asked he'd just say that he wasn't feeling well. Not that that would get him out of trouble with the teachers. But, at least it'd be an excuse of some kind to tell to his parents. He sighed as he leaned against the surface of the sink. He could have just shown up to class late...but he hadn't wanted to go in the first place. Hell, he didn't even want to show up to school. And it was all because of that twat rocket Eren.

How long had he been putting up with this fuckers shit? How long had he sat back and just let it happen? He gripped the sink in his hands. He could feel his anger boiling and his body getting hot with rage. Just how much longer would he have to deal with this? It couldn't go on forever, right? So how much fucking longer did he have to pretend like he was okay? How much longer did he have to lie to his best friend? How much longer did he have to tell his parents that his bruises were just from physical education class? Just how much longer did he have to wipe away his tears and be the bigger fucking person? He was sick of it. He was exhausted...in more ways than one. Physically. Hell, his weight had dropped by at least ten pounds. Mentally. He was starting to sincerely debate just cracking this guy's skull open with a fucking rock. Emotionally. He was depressed practically all the time, crying for no reason, angry at everything, irritable and short with people he cared about more than anything in the world.

He couldn't put up with it for much longer, that was for sure. This shit was getting exhausting. All of it was just so fucked up. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment and frowned. The person he saw was not the person he had once been. He was different. The sad thing was that it wasn't because he wanted to be. If Eren had just backed off...If Eren would just take two minutes to stop being such an asshole...Stop insulting him for just a fucking day, he'd be fine. But no. That wasn't the way it worked. Eren was here to stay...and so were all of his disgusting comments and insults...all of his punches...everything Armin hated. 

The blonde lifted a hand to brush back his hair. Anger was in his eyes. If he didn't calm himself down, something bad was going to happen. He took deep breaths. He counted from ten to one and back. Come on, Armin. Relax. After all, for the moment, he didn't have to deal with Eren. He didn't have to deal with anyone. The thought made him smile, but only for a moment. Only until he realized there were footsteps making their way closer. Only until he heard the sounds of someone clearing their throat. Automatically, he readied himself to dive into a stall for hiding purposes. 

But it wasn't a teacher. It was a student. The ONLY student that he couldn't handle dealing with right now. Fucking Eren Jäger.

“You've got to be fucking kidding me.” Armin hissed. The dark haired boy looked at him for a moment before giving a small chuckle.

“What's the matter, Armin? Not happy to see lil' ol' me?” 

“Leave me alone, Jäger”

“Hey, I'm just here to take a piss like every other guy.” 

“Then do it and get out of here.” 

“What's got your panties in a wad, Armin?”

“Gee, I dunno...maybe it's the way you fucking treat me.” His fists were clenched. He lifted one from his side and began to think of his options. He could drop it and just mind his own business...or he could show this fucker that he was sick of being pushed around. Without really thinking it through past that statement, he lunged. His fist connected with the tanned skin of Eren's cheek. 

“Fuck, man!” Eren stumbled back, grumbling under his breath. But Armin didn't stop there. No. It wasn't just that he didn't...or that he didn't want to...he literally couldn't. His body moved on its own. He slammed Eren to the floor, his fist raised once more. He brought it down again and again, smashing it into the side of the German's face. Blood splattered onto his fist and the floor below them. Surely from a tooth. But he barely noticed.

“I fucking hate you!” He shouted as his fist connected once more. “I fucking hate you!” It was repeated over and over again as his fist started to slow. A hand reached up, grabbing it as it came down once more. Tears were pooling in the corners of the blonde's eyes. He pulled at his fist but Eren's grip was too tight. “Fuck you! Fuck you and all your insults and your beatings and your fucking disgusting existence!” He was still shouting, still struggling, even though he couldn't move. Anger was still boiling in his skin. Hot, burning anger. Fury that had built up from years of torment. But there was nothing he could do about it. Nothing he could do to fix it. His fist was caught. He was done for. He knew already what awaited him. He knew he'd get beat. Eren was stronger. He always had been. In Elementary, in Middle School, and now in High School.

Eren's grip grew stronger, crushing even. Pain seared through his fist. He wanted to pull it away. He wanted to punch this guy some more. But all he could do now was weep like a fucking baby. What a fucking way to get payback. Eren's free hand lifted, curling into a fist. It connected roughly with the side of Armin's face. Pain. That was all he felt now. No anger. No shaking. No nervousness. Just the pain in his fist and his face. He was pushed back, lifted from the ground, and shoved into the wall.

“You fucking piece of shit.” Eren hissed. “You act like you're so fucking perfect...You're so smart. You're so talented. But really, you're just a nerdy little faggot.” 

“Fuck you.” In response the German's fist connected with his face again.

“Shut up.” Again it connected. Again and again until the side of his face was numb and blood dripped from the corners of his mouth. He could already feel the skin swelling and bruising. “I'm sick of you.” Eren hissed, his face mere inches from Armin's. “I'm sick of your existence.” The words were beginning to be distorted by the ringing in the blonde's ears. Eren inched closer. “And I'm sick of the fucking way you make me feel.” Armin barely heard the words as the ringing in his head grew louder. Strong, rough, angry lips connected with Armin's. His heart jumped into his throat. He struggled and kicked and tried his best to get away...but he was locked there. Pinned to the wall by someone much stronger than he. Much larger than he. Much meaner than he. The lips pulled away and only one statement was uttered, but because of the sounds in his ears from the punches, he couldn't hear it correctly. It was distorted...muffled...lost in a sea of rings and pounds. However, what he made out of the statement sounded vaguely like: I love you.

The world was fading to black and Armin's heart was pounding in his ears. He was dropped to the floor with a plop. He cringed at the feeling, but could do nothing about it. The world flickered in and out like a light bulb that was about to go out. At least he knew this particular light bulb wasn't about to go out forever. Or at least he was pretty sure it wasn't. He wasn't beaten that badly, right? He couldn't tell. All he felt was pain. All he heard was ringing and pounding.

In between the beats of his heart and the rings fading in and out of his ear, he heard Eren muttering to himself. “Fucking hell, Eren. The fuck is wrong with you? What if someone sees this shit? What if someone walks in and sees this fucking sap curled on the floor like a fucking baby.” Armin was vaguely aware of what was going on as Eren paced about the room. “Fuck. Fuck it. I'll just leave him here. It doesn't matter anyways.” The sounds of footsteps leaving. That's right...Armin was still weaker. Armin had always been weaker. Always been the victim. Just one time...one time he wanted to be stronger. But now wasn't that time...Now he was still the victim...and this time he really got it. He got more than he'd ever gotten before. More pain, more anger, more sadness...but more happiness as well. He'd at least landed punches...At least…

The world tilted and Armin felt himself falling to the side. His body was too weak to actually move. He did nothing but allow himself to fall. He couldn't even shout for help. He just lay there...groaning slightly. Finally the ringing completely overtook his hearing. The world continued to flicker around him. He could see for only a few moments at a time. He hoped that one of those moments someone else would walk in. But, nobody did. He was alone. Scared. Cold. In Pain...and completely utterly alone. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out except a pained breath. Why did it have to end this way? Why did his fist slow? Why did he end up getting caught in that grasp? He was now relatively sure he'd never beat the German...At least not as he was now…

As the world began to fade once more, a shadow began to enter the bathroom. He was saved. Thank the heavens, he was saved! They'd see him! They'd help him! But the world faded completely before he saw who it was. However, he could feel arms lifting him from the floor. Gentle arms...but strong too. Caring arms. Maybe a friend? Maybe someone he cared about… But he couldn't see. He could only feel, and even that too was vague. His mind was starting to tilt into the world of unconsciousness. He didn't want it to, but obviously he had no choice. He managed to utter one low, groan before his mind let go of the shred of reality it had held. Unconsciousness wafted over him.

Darkness. Cold...Murky...Lonely darkness. That was all he could see. All he could feel. The pain was gone now, at least. The ringing too...At least there was a silver lining to passing out...


	2. His Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"He looked back at him again, this time to see him smiling at him. Not his usual shit-eating grin...but a gentle...misplaced smile. It abruptly faded when the tanned boy noticed the blonde looking at him and it was replaced with a sneer. But...for the moment it lasted...he had to admit it made the boy look...attractive."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to [Zephyr Wolff](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ZephyrWolffOfTheShire) for his help and direction for this chapter. This is partially just a filler chapter
> 
> I also decided to bring a special couple into this chapter~! Thank you for reading and please feel free to leave any feedback or critique!

Blue eyes opened to the sounds of a conversation. Armin listened to them, as there was nothing else he could really do at the moment. 

“You can't just allow this shit.” 

“I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do about it.”

“Bullshit!” That was Jean's voice, no doubt about it. “Expel the brat or something!”

“Jean, we have no proof that it was Eren.” The other voice sounded like a teacher or the principal.

“This is bullshit!”

“Watch your language.”

“Whatever.” Armin turned his gaze to the direction of the voices, but saw nothing but the white sheet dividing the nurse's office beds. To the right then. He turned his gaze once more and, much to his surprise, saw a gentle face. 

“Armin, you're awake! Are you okay?” 

“Marco?” His eyes focused on the freckled face of the boy. 

“Hey.” He smiled calmly. “How are you feeling?” 

“I'm okay...W-What are you doing here, Marco?” 

“He's the one that found you.” Jean stated as he stepped around the curtain. “He carried you here and then came to tell me.” He rubbed at the back of his head. “Are you okay? I'm so sorry...I should've been there. I shouldn't have left you alone.” 

“Jean...” Armin laughed nervously. “I'm fine, really. It wasn't your fault. I didn't go to class...” 

“Who did this, Armin?” Marco's gentle voice pierced through his thoughts. He couldn't just tell them, could he? They'd overreact. Or, at least Jean would. 

“I uhm...” He looked back and forth between the two before quickly shaking his head. “I don't know.”

“You...don't know?” Jean frowned. “Come on, man...” 

“No, really...I didn't see them.” He quickly lied. 

“I bet it was that fucking Jäger.” The taller man grumbled.

“Hey, we don't know that, Jean.” Marco quickly jumped in. Thank goodness for Marco, keeping Jean in check since they met in middle school. Marco… He always was so kind. Not only that, of course, but he seemingly saved him from further agony on the bathroom floor. “Let's just wait and see what happens, okay?”

“Wait and see…?” Jean growled. “The fuck is wrong with you, Marco? Armin could've been hurt badly or even killed and you want to wait and see?”

“Jean...” Marco's brows furrowed and he lowered his gaze to the floor. Armin worried for a moment that Jean's words were too harsh and had, perhaps, hurt the boy's feelings. But, Marco rose to his feet, reached his hand out, and grasped Jean's. “Relax. Jumping to conclusions won't help anything.” He reached his other hand up and patted the taller man's cheek. “Come on, let's get Armin home.” He turned his attention back to the blonde and smiled. “Need help getting up?”

“Nah, it's okay.” Armin pushed himself into a seated position. He waved off Jean's hand as it was offered to him. He didn't need help. Or rather, he didn't want help. He refused to be seen as weak, even if he was. He turned on the bed to place his feet on the floor. Carefully, he pushed himself to stand. His eyes looked from Marco to Jean and back. He tried his best to smile, but he felt too tired to actually do such. He steadied himself, bringing a hand to run over his damaged lip. His entire face hurt. But, he didn't want to make the others worry, so he left it at that simple touch. “Well, let's uh...let's go then.” 

“Your parents are going to be pissed...” Jean sighed, as they began to make their way from the nurse's office. 

“Ah, ah. Not both of you.” So it was the vice-principal, not the principal that the blonde had heard speaking to Jean. Armin looked to the tall, old man and quirked an eyebrow. “Marco, take Armin home. Jean, you stay here. Go to your classes. Lord knows you need all the time in there as you can possibly get.”

“You callin' me stupid?” Jean hissed. 

“No, but you do have F's in almost every subject.” The vice-principal retorted. “Get to class.”

“Why you-” 

“Jean...” Marco's voice rose again. “Please just go to class.” He whispered. 

“Jean. To class. Now.” 

“Yes, Mr. Shadis.” He grumbled under his breath and turned to Marco. He squeezed the other boy's hand before slowly letting go and proceeding down the hallway, muttering under his breath about how stupid school was. Marco slowly made his way past the vice principal with Armin close behind. Down the hall and through the first door, The brown haired boy slowly lead the blonde to his 1993 Mustang GT. He unlocked the door and allowed the younger man to enter the car before he himself joined him.

“I don't exactly know where you live.” Marco laughed nervously. “So, you'll have to give me some directions...” He started the engine and, as they were pulling from the parking lot, looked from left to right. “So...do you want to talk about what happened?” He asked softly. “You really didn't see who did it?” He frowned as he stopped at the stop sign, waiting for a car to pass. 

“Turn right.” He sighed softly as he looked out the window, displeased by seeing his appearance in the glass. “You can't tell Jean, okay?” He stated. 

“Sure, my lips are sealed.” The brown haired boy turned the car slowly before lifting one hand from the wheel to scratch his neck. “I know what you mean. He gets a little...overboard.” 

“It was Eren.” Armin sighed, reaching a hand up to twist a piece of hair around his finger. 

“I should've known. That little brat has been bothering you for years.” The freckled boy sighed. 

“But...there was something strange about it this time...” Armin's eyes peered through the glass of the window. “Turn left at the intersection.” He added. 

“Like what? The fact he bashed your face open in the boy's restroom?” Marco turned the car slowly, grumbling under his breath at another driver who almost didn't stop. 

“No...I mean...” He tried to think of how to explain the kiss, but he couldn't. “Nevermind...” He laughed. “So...how are things between you and Jean?” 

“Oh, good now that we've gotten over that last fight.” He took one hand from the wheel to rub his neck once more.

“Oh...I forgot about that.” Armin frowned. “That was pretty bad...wasn't it? Keep going straight.” There was a long and slightly awkward pause. Being unsure how to break it properly, Armin remained quiet until the next turn arose. “Turn left. My house is the first on the right.” 

“Whoa, you live there?” The brown haired boy leaned forward, taking in the large house before them. 

“Y-Yeah. It's my gramps' house.” The blonde smiled nervously as he opened the car door and stepped out. “Would you like to come in for a moment?”

“You bet!” Marco emerged from the car quickly and followed the blonde as he stepped onto the porch.

“Mom? Dad? Gramps? I'm home!” Armin called as he pushed the door open. Within moments his mother emerged from the kitchen, a worried look on her face.

“Armin, sweetie, it's way too early for you to be home! You didn't skip did you!? Oh my god what happened to your face? Have you been fighting? Who did you make angry this time?” 

“Oh, he didn't do anything, Mrs. Arlert!” Marco interjected quickly. “He was caught unawares in the bathroom.” The freckled boy looked to Armin for confirmation and the boy nodded, looking to the floor after doing such. 

“Who did this you, Armin? I insist you tell me. I'll make sure I get a hold of their parents.” 

“Mom, please, this is high school. It's not going to work like that as well anymore.” Armin laughed nervously. “The principal is taking care of it.” He looked to Marco once more before realizing he hadn't yet introduced his mother to him. “Mom, this is Marco Bott. He's the one who found me in the bathroom.” 

“Hello, ma'am!” Marco bowed his head a bit and flashed one of his usual gentle smiles.

“Well, thank you for helping him.” His mother stated calmly. “Please, make yourself at home if you'd like.” 

“T-Thank you, Ma'am.” They watched quietly as Armin's mother left them in silence. 

“You don't have to call her Ma'am...” Armin laughed quietly. “Come on, we can hang out in my room for a while.” He began his journey down the hall, not really looking to see if the brown-haired boy were following or not. He entered his room, waiting until Marco followed and then slowly closing the door. “So, you wanna watch a movie or something?” 

“No...I want to talk about what you were trying to say in the car.” Marco seated himself upon the bed, his eyes watching the boy in front of him. 

“Nah, it wasn't important.” 

“I just want to know what you were gonna say.”

“It was just strange.” Armin seated himself and sighed. “He...well...He kissed me.” 

“He what?” Marco stared at with the most confused face he'd ever seen. “Why on earth would he do that?” 

“I don't know.” The blonde sighed, lifting a hand to touch his cheek. The events were still replaying through his mind. He was so confused himself that he couldn't do anything other than shrug his shoulders. Neither of them said anything for a moment. Finally, Marco reached a hand out to pat the younger boy's shoulder.

“Well, we'll figure it out, okay?” He smiled. “So don't worry about it. You should get some rest and stuff.” He rose from his seat and stretched. “I'll get out of here so you can rest without worrying about me watching you or something.” He laughed. “If you need anything, don't hesitate to call Jean and one of us will rush over, okay?”

“Oh...Alright. Thanks, Marco.” Armin tried his best to smile, but he was having such a hard time. After all, his face hurt quite badly. 

“I'll see you around.” Marco leaned forward, giving Armin a rather unexpected hug. Not sure how to react, the blonde lifted a single, shaky hand and touched his shoulder.

“See you.” He stated simply. The brown-haired boy stood at full height once more and made his way to the door. Armin watched him but said nothing more. After the boy had left, he gave a sigh and lay back, pulling the covers over his body. “Ugh...” He felt horrible. His body was aching. To be honest, he didn't want to stay up. He rolled onto his side. He felt tired. It was probably best to sleep. He closed his eyes, letting his breath out in a long sigh. If he could just get the thoughts out of his head long enough to get some rest. At least he was lucky in this aspect. He fell asleep rather quickly. 

– – – – – – – – – – –

Armin felt dead as he made his way through the hallways. He made sure not to miss his classes today, as he didn't want to be caught by Eren again. English. Calculus. Both the same as usual. All boring. But filled with questions of 'what happened to Armin's face?' To be honest, the blonde was just trying to ignore them. He couldn't listen to the rumors. They were, honestly, more painful than the beating he had received. If that was even possible. He sighed as he stared at the clock, running his final lap in Gym class. After this he would be in lunch. He could sit with Jean and Marco. He could relax. He knew it was silly, but he was looking for Eren around every corner. He was expecting him to just be standing there, that disgusting grin on his face. 

Maybe the blonde was just being paranoid? There was probably nothing to worry about. But, he was still jumpy regardless. Every sound that was made caused him to cringe, expecting to feel the cold fist against his face again. It was then that the bell rang, causing him to jump. He took in a deep breath, rushing to the locker room to change his clothes. Once back into his uniform, he rushed to the cafeteria, spotting Jean and Marco at their usual table. The two were waiting on him like usual. He felt bad for making them wait for him every time. But, gym always ran late. Oh well. He rushed to them, calling out to them midway. “Hey, you t-” He was cut off as his body slammed into another.

“Watch it, Arlert!” Eren's voice infiltrated his ears. He looked up, freezing in his spot. Oh god. It had to be Eren...didn't it? It had to be Eren. He took a deep breath, moving to the side a bit. 

“Sorry, Eren...”

“You don't want a repeat of yesterday, do you?” The boy whispered. 

“N-No! I'm sorry.” 

“Then I better not see you again.” He hissed. He retreated to his usual table of scumbags and seated himself, giving Armin a glare as he did so. God, Armin could feel his skin crawl just at that look. If it could've killed him, it would've. Pushing the feeling to the back of his mind for the moment, the blonde made his way to his friends' table. 

“That little shit...One of these days I'm gonna teach him a lesson.” Jean was muttering. 

“Relax, Jean. Fighting him won't help anything.” Marco sighed. 

“Guys...” 

“Armin, do you want me to kick the shit out of that brat?” Jean jumped to his feet.

“No, no. It's okay!” Armin laughed softly. “Come on, let's just get our food and eat, okay?” He made his way to the lunch line, ignoring the protests of Jean as he did so. He stood in line, quietly scanning over the crowd of students as he did so. Eren could be spotted not far away, his eyes glancing up at him every once in a while. What was his fucking fascination with Armin anyways? The things that were said in the bathroom flooded his memory and he gave a sigh. He was probably just over-thinking it. He grasped a tray of food, taking it and returning to the table Jean and Marco had been at. He seated himself and waited for them quietly. 

Jean was the first to arrive, seating himself across from the blonde. “So, How are you feeling, Armin?” He asked. 

“Better.” He picked at his food as he watched Marco making his way across the room as well. The man's smile was wider than usual. “He looks so happy today.”

“Yeah...I asked him to move in with me.” Jean mumbled, picking at his own tray of food. 

“For real?” Armin smiled. “That's great.” He watched Marco seat himself next to the other. He glanced just once over his shoulder at Eren, whom was staring back at him. Fuck. He was looking...again. What the fuck? What did he want? Armin huffed and decided he'd confront the little shit as soon as he got the chance. He was actually quite displeased with what was happening. What was wrong with Eren? Why did he keep fucking staring? Armin looked back at him again, this time to see him smiling at him. Not his usual shit-eating grin...but a gentle...misplaced smile. It abruptly faded when the tanned boy noticed the blonde looking at him and it was replaced with a sneer. But...for the moment it lasted...Armin had to admit it made the boy look...attractive? 

He wanted to slap himself for even thinking that word of Eren fucking Jäger.


	3. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _His words were cut off by gentle lips. Wait a second...Gentle? That couldn't be right. They couldn't be gentle. It had to be that he was imagining it, right? His hands lifted, pushing at the boy's chest. To his surprise, the boy moved at the action, sitting back in his seat._
> 
> _“I'm sorry.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit sloppy. I didn't have a proofreader this time as Zephyr was away. I hope you can get through any misspellings or typos. Thanks for reading chapter three! I look forward to seeing what you think!

Armin found it hard to focus on things and went through the rest of his day in a bit of a daze. He was beginning to get confused by the looks he was receiving from Eren. The boy was actually starting to get on his nerves. He didn't get it. If the boy hated him so much, why did he continue to look at him in such a way? Why couldn't he just leave him alone? As pale blue eyes turned to the clouds, he let out a sigh. He was waiting here for Eren. Why? Hell if he knew. He grasped the edge of his shirt, sighing as he looked to the doors. Why was he waiting…? 

_Alright, Eren, What's your deal?” Armin hissed, pulling Eren aside after class._

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“If you hate me so much, why do you keep looking at me like this?”_

_“You really want an answer to that?” Eren sighed._

_“Yeah, I really do.”_

_“Then meet me in the parking lot...by the black 2002 Camaro. After school. Don't keep me waiting.” Eren hissed in his ear before making his way down the hall, leaving him in silence._

And for some strange reason...Armin was there. Waiting beside this ugly car in this boring parking lot. He even rejected Jean's request to ride home with him. He didn't get it. Why did he feel so curious about Eren's looks? Why did he feel like he _had_ to know? He sighed, looking at the watch on his wrist. 3:20. Where the fuck was Eren at? He crossed his arms, staring at the doors as he shifted his weight. The air was bitter and cold, biting through his jacket. If that little shit didn't show up in the next few minutes, he was leaving. 

As he thought that, Eren appeared on the sidewalk. He was laughing. It looked strange to see the boy look so happy. Then again, seeing him in any way other than angry was unusual. At least for Armin. He wasn't close to him, after all. And he didn't want to be. He sighed, rubbing his arms as he stood there. Eren's eyes trailed to the car, locking on the blonde for a moment. They were within earshot now and Armin could hear the words he was saying. 

“Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, man.” He laughed. “Good luck with the whole infection check thing.” 

“Shut up, dude, it's not an infection.” He recognized that voice as one of the other jerks of the school. Franz Kefka. Armin wasn't fond of him either. In case it wasn't obvious, though, Armin wasn't fond of many people. Finally the two parted ways and Eren made his way to where he was standing. He said nothing, apparently waiting until Franz's truck was out of sight. 

“Get in, runt.” Were the only words that were spoken before the tanned boy seated himself in his car. With a grumble, Armin followed the order and climbed into the passenger seat.

“Alright, what's the deal?” 

“Shut up for a minute.” Eren waved his hand. He started the car and, without another word, pulled from the parking lot. Armin bit at the inside of his cheek, already annoyed by the smartass tone Eren always had. They rode in silence. Armin figured if he tried to speak he'd just get told to shut up again, which would only flare his anger. He ran a hand through his hair. Silence. Deafening. Boring. God, he hated it. What he wouldn't give for some sound.

Finally, Eren spoke. “So, you wanna know what my problem is?” 

“Yeah, actually.” 

“You.” 

“Shocker.” The blonde laughed mockingly. “But what's with the looks?”

“You don't get it, do you? The problem has always been you. Your looks. Your smile. Your laugh. Everything about you. It's driving me insane. It pisses me off.” 

“So, what? You driving me to some secluded location to get rid of me once and for all?” 

“I wish.” Eren huffed. They were still driving. Where were they going? What were they doing? Why had Armin gotten in the car willingly? He could've said no. He could've left. He could've just accepted Jean's offer and gone home. But no. He was stupid. He got in the god damned car. Now god only knew what would happen to him. He placed a hand on his cheek. It still hurt. He would probably be in worse pain after this. He watched the scenery passing by. Where were they? There was the hill. Nobody ever went there. Secluded. Quiet. Yeah, if someone was going to kill someone else, that was probably the place to go. 

And, that was just where they were going. Eren parked the car, killing the engine almost immediately. “So...what are you gonna do, Eren?” The blonde sighed. “You gonna just beat me up again? Leave me here to die?” 

“Will you stop jumping to conclusions? Fucking hell.” Eren's head leaned against the steering wheel. A sigh escaped his lips. “I'm sorry, okay?” 

“Sorry?” Armin stared at him incredulously. “Sorry doesn't fix my fucking face. Sorry doesn't make all the things you said go away. Sorry doesn't do shit.” 

“I know.” The tanned boy lifted his head, turning his eyes to meet the blue ones of Armin. “I never meant for it to go this far, ya know? I just...You do know what people would do to people like me, right?” 

“What are you even talking about, Eren?” The blonde lifted his eyebrows. People like him? A jock? A football player? Nobody would do shit to him. The only person who seemed to have the guts to stand up against him was Jean. He'd never seen anyone even so much as glare at Eren. What could he possibly mean by that? “People like you? What about people like me? I can't play sports. I can't fit in to a crowd. I'm a fucking nerd. People like you, you say? Nobody even puts a hand on you. They're terrified. They're chickens. Hell, half of them would actually welcome a beating. They don't care if they get beat up, because at least the great Eren fucking Jäger is noticing they exist.” 

“You're so stupid, Arlert.” Eren threw his hands up, shaking his head as he quickly jumped into explanation. His words came out through gritted teeth. Anger was strong in his tone. “What you see...what you deal with? That's not even who I am. I just want to fit in. I want to be someone. I'm good at football. Playing for the Titans is probably the best thing I've ever done. But it's not all fun and games. You have to fit in with them. You have to be exactly who they want you to be. Do you know what happens to people who stand out? They get beat up. Maybe so badly that they never walk again. I have to be who you all see me as.” He sighed, lowering his voice. “Do you want to know who I really am? Who I want to be?” 

“No.” Armin hissed. “I don't. Because I don't believe you. For years you've treated me like shit. You act all high and mighty. You stomp around the halls, stepping on anyone who acts even a bit different than you. You act like everyone around here is a fucking peasant and you're the fucking king. I don't give two shits about who you 'really are' because I doubt it's even you. You're just trying to get someone to feel bad for you. Fuck you. It's not happening. You've treated me like shit for years. You beat me up every chance you get. So I'm not feeling even the slightest bit bad for you.” 

“Will you just shut up?!” Eren's fists slammed into the steering wheel. “I'm fucking trying to tell you something important. I'm trying to explain to you that what you think I am isn't even fucking true. Could you just give me a break for two seconds?” 

“People like you don't deserve breaks.” 

“You don't even know the real me. So how can you say something ignorant like that?” 

“Because the 'real you' probably isn't even real.” 

“Fuck you, Armin. If you'd just listen for two seconds instead of running that stupid mouth of yours, you'd understand what I'm trying to explain to you.” Eren lifted a hand, running it through his hair and taking a deep breath. Armin glared at him, not willing to accept that the boy was even telling the smallest bit of truth. Silence filled the car, save for the sound of Eren's deep breathing. “Are you done talking now, Armin?” 

“Fuck you, Eren.” 

“Jesus. Could you calm down? I'm not here to fight with you, Armin. I'm done fighting. At least for now. Look, I'm trying to tell you something I've never told anyone.” 

“And why should I care? Why should I give two shits about something you have to say? Go tell your friend Franz or someone who gives a shit.” 

“I can't tell them! Don't you get it?!” 

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I'm gay, Armin!” The words dropped like a bombshell. Silence engulfed the car. The blonde shifted awkwardly in his seat. He stared at the hill before them, wondering what he should say. Was Eren even telling the truth? There was no way for him to know. He could be just saying that to make Armin let his guard down. That wasn't about to happen. Hell no. Armin wasn't being caught off guard again. After the silence became too much, he spoke. 

“Why are you telling me this?” He crossed his arms over his chest. He was cold. It wasn't exactly the warmest car that he'd ever been in. Noticing the action, Eren reached a hand out, turning the key back. That hand then reached out to turn the heat on. And then...it reached down to grasp his hand. At the contact, Armin quickly pulled away. Angry, he let out a hiss. 

“I was just going to put your hands up by the heat, stupid.” The brown-haired man sighed. “I'm telling you because...I like you.” He sighed. “Well, I guess like isn't the right word. Love, maybe...” He grew silent for a moment before quickly lifting a hand and waving it dismissively. “Look, I just really like you a lot, okay? I just...I can't accept it. I can't be beat up by these guys. I'm not okay with admitting who I am to them. They could kill me, you know? I'm scared...” 

“Scared?” Armin spat. “Whatever, Eren. I'm not buying it.” He placed his hands near the heat, sighing into the sudden silence. What kind of fool did Eren take him for? Sure, he kissed him in the bathroom. He said he loved him. But, Armin wasn't about to believe that. Hell no. Not over his dead body. He couldn't. People didn't beat up the people they loved. People didn't call their loved ones faggot. They didn't make their life a living hell. No. He wasn't buying Eren's words at all. He looked over at him, a look of doubt on his face. 

“I don't care if you buy it or not.” The words were quiet. “I just couldn't keep it in anymore, alright? I'm sorry. I'll take you home, if you want. I'm done talking. It's pointless if you don't believe any of what I'm saying. It doesn't matter, though. I just needed you to know.” He placed his hands on the wheel. “So, shall I drive you home?” 

“No. We're not done talking, Eren.” The blonde shifted in his seat, spitting his words. He was angry. Angry that Eren was trying to pull the wool over his eyes. Angry that he was trying to get him to believe something impossible. Angry that he even thought Armin would let him drive him home. It was bullshit. All of it. He lifted his hand, pointing at the boy as he spoke. “You're an asshole, Eren. You can't sit here and say all this shit. If you cared about me even one bit, you wouldn't beat me up. You wouldn't call me names or make me feel like shit on a daily basis. You wouldn't be such a horrible person all the time. I can't believe you'd even think you could trick me with this shit.” 

“I'm not trying to trick you.” 

“Bullshit. How could you say you care, when all you've ever done is make my life a living hell? You're a horrible person, Eren. And you're so fucked up. You're twisted and sick. I can't stand y-” His words were cut off by gentle lips. Wait a second...Gentle? That couldn't be right. They couldn't be gentle. It had to be Armin imagining it, right? His hands lifted, pushing at Eren's chest. To his surprise, the boy moved at the action, sitting back in his seat. 

“I'm sorry.”

“Sorry…?” Armin lowered his gaze, his fingers shaking a bit. “I want to go home.” 

“Sure. Just give me directions.” Those were the only words that were said. Silence. Cold and deafening. But, silence had a silver lining...It allowed him to think...


	4. Skipping Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He still wasn't sure what to do about Eren, but he would figure it out somehow...Maybe it wouldn't hurt to at least try to understand Eren a bit better. Maybe there was someone different beneath that shell. He wanted to slap himself for thinking that, but he couldn't help it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to a friend outside AO3 for their help in proofreading this chapter. I apologize if the cursing is getting a little overbearing, If you're uncomfortable with it please either ignore it or steer clear of this particular fanfic.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I look forward to seeing any feedback you may have!

Armin didn't go to school the next day. He couldn't. Facing his schoolmates...especially Eren...just seemed like too much. He stayed in bed, feigning illness whenever his mother checked on him. It wasn't like he couldn't handle school if he tried. But, he just didn't feel like it. His thoughts were jumbled and seeing Eren would only make it worse. He was deeply distracted when he heard his phone ringing. For a moment he debated picking it up. Who could it be? It wasn't after school yet, right? Glancing at the clock caused his mind to reel. 

4:00 P.M.? That couldn't be right, could it? His hand tapped the top of the clock a few times, checking if it were broken. Perhaps the batteries had died and it was now forever stuck on 4:00? That had to be it, right? But as the hand moved to display 4:01, he felt himself scowling. He had been in this bed all day long. Doing nothing except wallowing in self pity. His phone had stopped ringing, but only for a moment. It chimed back in with its obnoxious ringtone after another few seconds. 

Pale fingers shot out to grasp it. He pressed the button and lifted the device to his ear, exhaling loudly as he did so. “Hello?” 

“Armin?”

Ah, a familiar voice. “Hey, Jean.” 

“Where are you?”

“At home, of course.” The blonde rolled onto his side, groaning as his body protested the movement. It hurt to move too much…

“You okay?” Jean's voice was thick with concern, making Armin feel about.

“Yeah. Just a bit achy and I think I have a touch of the flu.” Lying was coming far to easily to him lately...

“It's probably best for you to rest.” The boy sighed. “Uh, listen, I picked up your homework from your classes and I'm about five miles out or so. You cool with me swinging by to drop it off?” 

“Oh…Uhm...Well...” Armin debated the question for a few moments before he finally let out a quiet breath. “Yeah, that's fine.”

“Are you really okay, Armin?” 

“Yeah, there's just some stuff going on that's got me a bit distracted.”

“I expect to hear about it when I get there, okay? I'll see you soon.” 

“Wait Jean I don't really want to ta-” He was cut off by the sound of the line going dead. He let out a sigh. “Talk about it...” He finished the statement regardless before rolling onto his side again and groaning. As much as he appreciated Jean's attempts to help, he wasn't really comfortable with talking about the issue at hand with him. Not only because Jean hated Eren...but because it was an awkward situation all around. Armin wasn't sure how to handle it. The kiss and the words that Eren had said were still fresh in his mind, even as he tried to push them away.

He stared at the ceiling for long moments until he heard the sound of his room's door opening. “Hey, Armin. How you feeling?” 

“Hey, Jean. I'm okay.” He forced himself into a seated position and turned to look at the brown-haired boy. “Homework.” He reached his hand out, signaling for him to pass it over. The taller man did so and slowly lifted a hand to scratch at the back of his neck. 

“So...What's going on with you, Arm?” For a moment the blonde didn't respond. Armin reached a hand out, patting the end of his bed. Jean seated himself and tilted his head. “You can tell me anything, you know.” The brown-haired boy stated. 

“I know.” Except that he couldn't. It wasn't that he didn't trust Jean. He trusted him with more things than he'd even meant to. But, in this particular case...he felt that Jean would react in a poor manner. At times like this...he needed someone a bit more understanding. Someone like Marco. He kept his eyes on the sheets as he listened to Jean speaking.

“Look, you don't have to tell me, okay? I just...want to make sure you know you can.” 

“I know, Jean.” Armin smiled to the best of his ability and turned his attention to the floor. “It's just...Eren.”

“Jäger? What about him?” Jean's jawline visibly sharpened. Anger was apparent on his features. Armin knew he shouldn't have brought the boy up, but he couldn't necessarily lie to Jean about the reason he didn't want to go to school either. He could omit the parts about the kiss and the confession...but he couldn't say that the reason was because of anyone or anything else. He sighed, pulling his knees to his chest. 

“What if he corners me again?”

“Look, Armin, I'm not gonna let that happen, okay? We're gonna find a way to teach him a lesson. He can't keep doing this shit to you.” Jean gritted his teeth, leaning back on his hands. Wait...teach him a lesson? Armin's heart skipped a beat but he wasn't sure why. The earnest tone that Eren had used on him the previous day rolled back into his mind. The gentle kiss that followed them. Why? Why couldn't he just get rid of those thoughts? Why couldn't he push them away and move on? He could just forget them and continue with life as normal. But, for some reason they stuck around, haunting his thoughts every hour. And now he was worrying, for no reason, about what Jean had planned.

“What are you going to do to him, Jean?” Why did he care? Why did he worry even just a little bit about Eren? That little shit didn't deserve his worry. He didn't deserve sympathy or pity. He deserved whatever was coming to him. But god dammit. Armin was worried. He lifted a hand to twirl a section of his hair around his finger. “I mean, you'll get yourself in trouble if you do something uncalled for.” He easily played off his clearly worried face by directing that worry toward Jean, even though he wasn't really worried about him.

“Uncalled for?” Jean huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “When it comes to that guy, nothing is uncalled for.” 

“Just...don't get yourself in trouble.” The blonde frowned. His worry still hung in his chest though. Worry about Eren...What if Jean took it just a little too far? He sighed, grabbing the homework that the boy had brought him. “So...did I miss anything super important?”

“Nah.” 

“How's Marco?”

“Fine. Worried about you, you little shithead.”

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make him worry.” Armin sighed. “He can call me, if he'd like...” 

“I'll tell him that.” Jean smiled, reaching out to pat Armin's shoulder. “If you need anything, you call me up, okay?” He rose from the edge of the bed and stretched. “I should get home before he starts worrying about me instead.” He laughed. “You'll be at school tomorrow right?” He lifted his eyebrows, taking in Armin's form for a moment. “After all, you don't exactly look sick. You fibber.” He started to exit the room, causing the blonde to jump from his bed.

“Hey! I'm not a fibber.” 

“Says the one that just easily pulled himself from the bed.” Jean teased. “I'll see you tomorrow, Armi.” 

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” He waved as the boy exited the room, leaning against the door frame for a moment. He could just barely hear his mother speaking to Jean from the bottom of the stairs. Jean's laugh echoed afterward along with a muffled 'goodbye, Mrs. Arlert.' With a sigh, Armin closed his door and returned to his bed. He folded his legs beneath him and stared at the work he had to complete before his return. Was he even willing to return to school tomorrow? He wasn't sure. To be honest, he had hoped for at least another day to think about how he'd deal with Eren. He could either flat out reject Eren or try his best to get to know the supposed _real_ Eren. Though, he was almost positive that the boy was lying to him and there was no real him beneath that disgusting wrapper of hatred.

His fingers peeled the first sheet of work from his homework. Maybe he could get his mind off of Eren if he just focused on this work. He needed to get it done before he returned to school anyways. He'd never missed homework, except when he'd skipped class. Which, of course, wasn't very often. He was insistent on remaining an A grade student, even if it was difficult with so many thoughts running through his mind. Science. One of his favorites. He pushed all other thoughts from his mind and got to work, taking only a moment to fully decide he'd return to school tomorrow. He still wasn't sure what to do about Eren, but he would figure it out somehow...Maybe it wouldn't hurt to at least try to understand Eren a bit better. Maybe there was someone different beneath that shell. He wanted to slap himself for thinking that, but he couldn't help it.


End file.
